


I Deserve Far Worse

by mossylog5



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Bones, Gen, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), Whump, found family trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25371949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossylog5/pseuds/mossylog5
Summary: Zuko is kidnapped and the gaang saves him
Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 1191





	I Deserve Far Worse

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a very long time since I've written anything, fanfiction included, so we'll see how this goes. I had fun writing it, and that's what counts :)
> 
> Let's say this is set sometime after boiling rock but like. Time isn't real, only AtLA hurt/comfort is real.

Zuko blinked awake in the dim light, taking in the cavern he found himself in. He was chained to the wall in heavy shackles, dangling a foot or so above the slick floor. A moan escaped his mouth, unbidden, registering the pain of wrenched shoulders and tight cuffs that cut into his wrists.

The creak of a heavy door sounded, and light flooded the chamber.

“I see you’re awake.” An imposing man stood in the doorway clad in deep fire nation red.

“I’d prefer not to be,” Zuko tried to retort, though it came out as an unintelligible croak.

The man strode towards Zuko as he spoke. “We believe you have some information that we may need. Tell us and you’re free. Simple and easy, Prince.”

Zuko grunted noncommittally.

“Where—” he said and drawing this phrase out, “is the Avatar?”

Zuko moved his lips breathily, beckoning the man closer. Despite Zuko’s status as, er, dangling, the two looked eye to eye. Each word laborious and deliberate Zuko whispered “Fuck. Off.”

Eyes narrowing, the man backhanded him across the face. “ _I said_ where is the Avatar”

Zuko only smiled at this, a fresh bruise blossoming over his good eye.

“If you want to make it out of here alive you’re going to want to cooperate” With that, he strode out of the chamber leaving Zuko again alone.

No sooner had Zuko again slumped in his chains was the man back, this time carrying a stepladder and a crude mallet. Placing the stepladder in front of the boy he stepped up and grabbed one of his wrists. Zuko stared defiantly up at him.

Grasping his pinkie first, the torturer snapped it back until it popped with a sickening crack.

Zuko grunted but said nothing when the man looked questioningly at him, expecting a quick confession. A prince, even a banished one, is expected to be soft, soft enough that a broken finger would break them. Still, Zuko remained steadfast.

The man wrenched back the next four fingers in rapid succession, eliciting more pained groans.

Shutting his eyes, Zuko tried to remind himself that he had endured worse. Much worse. And it seemed a small price to pay to protect Aang. In this moment he realized that unless his tongue betrayed him, he’d endure anything to protect Aang. Zuko smiled a bit at this, realizing just how frustrated and furious he could make his captors.

The man saw this grin and his eyes darkened, grabbing the mallet and swinging wildly at his forearm. Pain ricocheted through Zuko, sending stars through his vision. He might have screamed but not consciously. The chain pulled at the now shattered arm as Zuko tried to catch his breath, each movement agony.

After seeing Zuko was not going to talk, he stalked out of the room, throwing the door closed on his way out. In this moment Zuko realized that his captors were trying to keep him alive, relegated to cosmetic injuries only. A pang of fear went through him then. If they weren’t trying to hurt him too badly, then what was their end goal? He knew it would end with him sold back as captive of the fire lord, laughing stock of the nation. That scared him more than death in this chamber ever could. Zuko frowned and tried to adjust in his chains but a wave of pain sent him hurtling into a blissful unconsciousness.

Another slap to the face awaited Zuko when he came to.

“Are you ready to talk?” The man snarled.

“Such a fucking cliché—‘are you ready to talk? Maybe if your torture lines were a little more origi—”

Zuko was cut off with an uppercut to the jaw. “So that’s how it’s going to be? I guess I’ll really have to give you a show, then. Some torture to write home about, if you had a home to write to.” Zuko would have laughed at that if he wasn’t distracted by a distant commotion he heard through the door. It could have been anything, a fight between criminals or simply loud banter but with it brought an inkling of hope. It could be the Avatar.

The man didn’t seem to notice anything amiss and picked up the mallet strewn in the corner. It looked as though he were going to smash Zuko’s other arm when shouts erupted in the hallway nearby. Fear flashed on the man’s face and he faltered, then swung the mallet hard into Zuko’s chest.

It was pain like he’d never felt, sharp and encompassing, knocking the wind out of him. Every nerve screamed in protest and he discovered he couldn’t seem to take another breath in. Zuko panicked, gulping air that simply wouldn’t penetrate his chest. It felt like drowning, taking breath after breath that gave him no respite.

In this moment the door swung in and Toph sent the man, still holding the mallet, hurtling into the wall. Zuko registered his name, shouted by both Toph and Sokka but couldn’t muster any acknowledgement of it.

“He can’t breathe, I can feel it. I’ll bend the cuffs and you catch him when he falls, he needs to get to Katara now.”

Sokka stood under Zuko, arms out, and Toph peeled away his restraints. Catching him roughly, he grasped Zuko by the torso, eliciting a rough groan from the boy. Sokka spoke a hurried sorry to the semi-conscious form and Toph led them out of the room, running as fast as they could with Zuko’s dead weight.

Toph thrust aside a straggling guard but most had ran by the time they made it out of the tunnels to open air. Katara and Aang stood by the door and Katara turned when they entered looking relieved then horrified at Zuko’s condition. Toph briefed her as they scrambled on Appa, Aang doing his best to bend Zuko up to the saddle with Sokka following in the rear.

“When we found him he was strung up and it looked like his ribs were smashed. The guy had a hammer and—” She trailed off.

Katara already had her hands on him, uncorking the flask over her shoulder and beginning to heal. Zuko still gasped for breath under her hands and Katara furrowed her brow.

Sokka pointed to Zuko’s fingers and said shakily, “the tips, they’re blue. He’s not getting enough oxygen.”

“I don’t know if I can heal fast enough.” Katara shut her eyes and concentrated hard, channeling energy past her hands.

Suddenly Aang’s face lit up and he scrambled up to his knees and put a hand on Zuko, beginning to send air through his mouth and into his chest. Zuko choked a moment and Aang’s eyes widened but with the next breath found a rhythm.

“You’re breathing for him,” Toph said in wonder.

Zuko’s brow relaxed, letting the airbender take over his chest. Katara visibly relaxed as well, still sending steady healing waves through him.

“Yeah, the monks told me that airbenders were a vital part of infirmaries, they could breathe for patients who couldn’t.” Aang paused for a moment. “I never thought I’d have to do it, or even know how.”

They all sat in silence a moment watching Zuko’s chest rise and fall, and a bit of color return to his face and fingers.

“I can feel the hole,” Aang said suddenly. “His rib went through the lung I guess. But I think I can keep him breathing like it isn’t there.”

Sokka looked positvely sick at this new piece of information but Katara took in stride. “I’ll try to heal Zuko’s lung first and then we can see if he’ll breathe on his own, then we can take stock of other injuries that need attention. We’ll head back to the air temple in the meantime.”

The GAang settled into uneasy silence. Sokka grasped Appa’s reins tightly, brows knit. Aang and Katara worked in tandem on Zuko’s prone form, each concentrated on the rise and fall of his chest. Glancing back, Sokka noticed Toph sitting knees up and gripping Zuko’s hand with both of hers. He bit his lip. Toph was just a kid, in this moment she seemed so small. He wished he could leave his post and put an arm around her, promise Zuko would be fine. Shutting his eyes, he realized he wasn’t so sure Zuko would be.

About midway through the flight Aang looked up at Katara. “I think his lung is healed! Or mostly, there isn’t a hole there anymore. I can try and ease him off my breathing.”

“I think that would work! He feels better under my hands somehow. More yknow. Alive”

Aang gently eased his bending and they all looked to Zuko. It seemed to work, Zuko’s own breaths were albeit shallower without Aang but they were regular and steady. Aang smiled triumphantly and the whole group breathed the collective breath they’d been holding. Even Toph seemed to relax, opting to lay down next to Zuko, hands still grasping his.

  


  


Twilight had fallen before Appa touched down at the Western Air Temple. A gust of wind swirled across the stone platform, leaving Appa’s fur fluffed and sent a shiver through more than one of the group. As Zuko seemed relatively stable, Sokka hefted him as gently as he could and dismounted. 

“I’ll get a fire going, as our usual fire guy is out of commission,” Aang said, grinning a moment. Toph and Sokka started unrolling sleeping gear.

“You should rest,” Aang said, looking pointedly at Katara. “You can’t heal forever, and I think he’s out of any immediate danger.” His eyes softened. “You have to take care of yourself too.”

Katara opened her mouth to protest but she knew he was right. Her whole body was sore, and she felt sapped of energy. She nodded, giving in to the sudden desire to close her eyes.

“Wait, Katara,” Sokka said softly. Katara blinked her eyes open to see her brother gesturing at the thick woolen blanket he had laid on the ground next to her. She scooted over, grateful for the protection against cold stone. With a whispered “thanks,” she again felt her eyelids droop closed. Sokka laid a blanket over her, adjusting it with a tenderness rarely seen between the two.

Toph spoke a moment later. “Someone should watch the fire tonight. I slept a bit so I don’t mind taking first shift.”

“And watch Zuko,” Aang added, glancing over at him.

“That’s what I said, watch the fire,” Toph said, smiling. “Zuko,” she clarified, when Aang looked at her quizzically.

Sokka laughed out loud at this. The afternoon had been so exhausting and scary that the moment of humor took him by surprise. “wake me up in a few hours okay, promise I’m good for it.” With that, he laid down and promptly fell asleep.

Toph sat close to Zuko, feeling his breaths and keeping idle track of his heartbeat. The crackle of the fire kept her company and she replaced wood on the pile a couple times, before she grew tired as well. Closing her eyes for a moment turned into deep sleep that came far too suddenly to wake Sokka.

  


  


Toph awoke to a loud moan from Zuko. She could feel heat radiating off him in sheets and he was shaking, hard. She was about to call out for Katara but Zuko took care of that for her, with a loud cry of “No!”

The rest of the GAang woke up immediately and Sokka instinctually reached for his sword.

“Its Zuko,” Toph said quickly. “I think he’s sick “He’s really hot and his heart is racing.”

Rushing over, Katara placed a hand on Zuko’s forehead. “Firebenders run hot, right? But not—”

She was interrupted by another outburst from Zuko. “How can you…” he trailed off into a mumble. Zuko looked wildly uncomfortable, his face contorted in pain and muscles taut. Sweat had begun to pool on his forehead.

“Please, father! Please no” Zuko’s cries cut through the din of the forest. Everyone went silent at this. “Daddy,” he said with a whimper. Katara felt queasy and busied herself moistening a cloth and cooling it, placing the rag on Zuko’s forehead.

“Sokka, I saw some yarrow down by the creek. Get as much as you can.”

“And yarrow is?” Sokka looked at her blearily.

“It’s that weedy plant that looks like a fern. It should have white flower heads right now.”

Sokka was hesitant, the dark of the trees that lay beyond the fire’s dim light didn’t feel especially enticing. If he was being honest, he didn’t particularly want to leave Zuko either.

“I can come, scardy cat. I’ll keep ya safe from the monsters,” Toph supplied, squeezing Zuko’s had once more before standing to beckon Sokka. The two set off into the woods just beyond the temple.

Sokka trailed a bit behind Toph taking deliberate but clumsy steps through the pitch black.

“If you trip over one more tree root, I’m going to carry you,” Toph said threateningly.

Sokka huffed indignantly but didn’t protest when Toph hung back a moment and took his arm. “It’ll be easier to guide you if you stick closer.” Smiling at the irony of being led by a blind girl, Sokka closed his arm around Toph’s.

“What happened with Ozai?” Sokka asked suddenly. “It could just be a bad dream but Zuko seems, uh, pretty upset.”

“I don’t know.” Toph said flatly. “I’ve heard he’s a cruel man but we _are_ on a quest to kill him so I guess that checks out.”

“I’ve never heard him sound this upset. I’ve never heard him upset at all, really. Just angry, but he sounded so…” Sokka trailed off.

“Yeah, he did sound So.” Pause “stump here,” She added and yanked Sokka over right before his shin made contact.

The trail opened up into a meadow by the creek, illuminated by moonlight. She cast a silver glow over the field of sedges and Sokka stopped a moment to admire the beauty. He smiled up at the moon.

“Hey, stop flirting with your moon girlfriend and come look,” Toph said. “The sooner we get out of here, the better. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much mud between my toes.”

Sokka turned back to the task at hand and examined plants. The field was mostly grass and pithy wetland plants with giant leaves. Decidedly not yarrow.

“Is this it? It feels like the right size” Toph asked, pointing at a small plant growing next to the trail.

“I don’t think so. It doesn’t have the right leaf,” Sokka said, disappointment edging his voice. They searched in silence for a couple minutes until Sokka came upon it.

“I think this one has gotta be yarrow.” He reached down and pulled the lacey plant by the roots, grabbing a couple more adjacent.

Remembering the urgency of the task again, Toph grabbed Sokka’s arm and the pair headed back up the trail with the handful of green.

  


  


When the pair returned Katara was still working to cool Zuko, methodically cooling wet cloths and placing them on his forehead. Aang appeared to be tending the fire, reigniting the pitiful coals to get a kettle going.

Aang looked up from the fire. “You made it back okay? The yarrow leaves can go in the pot for tea. It’s supposed to make him sweat out the fever, right Katara?”

Katara mumbled in agreement, focused on her work.

“how has Zuko been,” Sokka asked as he squatted by the fire.

“Restless and feverish but it doesn’t seem like he’s gotten worse. He keeps calling out for his dad. Or not calling out, not really. More like he’s pleading to him.”

“Poor guy,” Sokka says, looking over at Zuko.

Once the water has boiled, Toph propped a still unconscious but signifincatnly more docile Zuko up while Katara bent tea into his mouth. Toph laid him back down gently and poured a cup for herself, blowing at the wisp of steam it emitted.

Whether the yarrow had worked or the fever broke naturally was of little consequence to the GAang as once Zuko’s temperature came down there was a collective sigh of relief. Sokka fell asleep almost immediately and the rest followed suit, all lying within arms reach of Zuko.

  


  


Zuko awoke to a throbbing pain in his arm and hand, and one of the worst headaches of his life. The sun was just barely over the horizon and he realized with a shiver that the fire was probably out, though sitting up seemed like far too daunting of a task. He lay there a moment, trying to orient himself. There had been a cave, he remembered the man who had come to torture him. He recalled his lungs screaming in pain, thinking he might die. And now he was here, wrapped in blankets, feeling, well, alive. That was something.

After a few moments, the need to relieve himself became apparent and he resigned himself to having to get up. Zuko grit his teeth and raised himself into a sitting position, yelping softly in pain as his arm was jostled in the process.

A voice came from next to him. “Hey, bud, you’ve got to lie down.”

Zuko turned to see Sokka sitting up next too him, looking concerned.

“I’m fine,” Zuko managed to mutter, still woozy from the pain of sitting. “Just gotta pee.”

Sokka looked at him skeptically. “Wait here a sec, okay? I’ll help you.” Sokka walked quickly over to his stuff and rifled through his bag, pulling out the robe from their fire nation disguises. He brought it back over and ripped a long section from it, glancing at Zuko’s arm to confirm the length.

Zuko held out his good hand. “Thanks. I can—”

Sokka cut him off. “Shut up and accept some help, Zuko. You were tortured for, like, three days, just let us help you!”

Zuko dropped his hand and looked away but a wry smile played on his lips.

Gently passing the fabric under Zuko’s arm and behind his head Sokka smiled. “How did you expect to do this one handed anyway?”

Zuko laughed softly. “I think I just like doing things for myself. It’s been a while since I relied on anyone. Except uncle,” He added softly.

The pair were silent for a moment while Sokka finished tying the sling. “You’ll see him again soon, Zuko.”

“Very thoughtful to use fire nation cloth, I wouldn’t want to wear colors that clashed,” Zuko said with a grin.

“Only the best for our fire nation prince,” Sokka said, sliding an arm around Zuko and gently hoisting him to a standing position. He could have sworn he saw Zuko flinch at the word prince, but he didn’t mention it.

Zuko swayed a bit but seemed to hold steady enough with Sokka’s arm around him. They walked a little ways from camp and Sokka moved a few paces away to give Zuko privacy, but was sure to be close enough to catch him if he fell.

When Zuko was finished they began to hobble back to camp “My chest?” Zuko asked suddenly, realizing that it hardly hurt.

“Katara worked on it all of yesterday. Like she woulda passed out if Aang didn’t make her rest.”

“Katara hates me,” Zuko said quizzically.

“She doesn’t hate you, doofus. She’s mad maybe, but I promise she doesn’t hate you. She’s just really good at holding grudges. Once I scared away an otter-penguin she was trying to befriend, and she didn’t talk to me for a week.”

Zuko seemed to perk up at this.

“She’ll probably go back to being ice queen once you’re feeling better, so enjoy it now,” Sokka said, giving him a gentle squeeze.

“I deserve far worse,” Zuko said, his tone suddenly shifting.

Sokka lowered him to his bedroll. “You know you’ve made up for what you’ve done, right? If those guys had attacked instead of the other way around, we’d probably all be dead. You saved us and paid the price and all that. Even Katara knows. Just don’t betray us again and you’re golden.”

“I think I can handle that,” Zuko said with a genuine smile.

“Hey, do you want some tea or something?” Sokka said. “You should probably be getting some fluids into you after the past few days.”

“I’ve got some good stuff in my pack.” Zuko gestured towards their pile of gear.

Zuko scooted carefully towards the fire pit and lit a flame on the charred logs, coaxing it back to life. He looked up to see Sokka returning with the Jasmine Dragon emblazoned box and let himself relax, absentmindedly watching Sokka fill the pot with water and put it on to boil. He accepted a cup warmly and drank it, the two sharing tea in silence out of both exhaustion and wariness of waking the rest. Zuko eventually drifted off, comfort finally outweighing pain.

  


  


Zuko drifted in and out of sleep all day, chatting with the others and trying to come up with firebending exercises for Aang. Katara spent a little time working on his broken fingers but she seemed spent after a sleepless night and he managed to convince her to rest, that his fingers could wait. Zuko realized it was the happiest he had been in a long time. It was embarrassing to be doted on but the he felt overwhelmed with love for his friends. Mostly he just felt tired and wobbly, happy to watch Aang bend and float between conversations.

It was evening by the time Zuko felt fully able to sit up and eat and Sokka and Katara were working on some sort of stew over the fire. Bowls were passed around and Aang sniffed it suspiciously.

“And you’re sure this is vegetarian,” he asked, poking at it with a wooden spoon.

“The chunks are just taro root, Aang. After all this time you think we’d feed you meat?” Katara huffed in annoyance.

“Well there was the time with the canyon crawler stew—” he trailed off after Katara shot him a look.

“Those were basically just bugs and besides, it’s been a long time since then. I promise there’s no meat, just plants and that last bit of soy sauce.”

Zuko took a small bite and was surprised at how good it was, and how hungry _he_ was. He ate slowly, trying to accommodate for how shrunken his stomach had become. “This is really good, Katara. Thank you,” he added, hoping she’d realize it was appreciation for more than just the stew. 

“Hey, I helped!” Sokka interjected.

“You stirred the pot,” Katara said, laughing. “Which is a very important job,” she conceded, seeing the hurt in his face.

After the stew was finished and the pot scraped, more tea and a hodgepodge collection of cups were brought out. There was a lull in conversation and Aang looked up at Zuko as if preparing himself for something.

“Zuko,” he started. And then asked bluntly, “What happened with your dad?”

Zuko flinched, seeming to shrink in on himself.

“You don’t have to talk about it. I just think it seems important, maybe. We care about you a lot and it might help to talk.”

“How did you guys find out?” He asked, eyes cast downwards. “I mean I guess I thought you knew already, the rest of the world does,” Zuko said bitterly.

“You called out in your fever,” Katara said softly. “It seemed like more than a bad dream.”

Zuko took a shaky breath. “Yeah, more than a bad dream. And I suppose you deserve to know. I’d rather you hear the story from me than from—well, from anyone else.”

Toph scooted towards Zuko, leaning gently on his side.

Taking a sip of tea, Zuko began. “I was thirteen, Azula was eleven and we were invited to our first war meeting. Well, not so much invited as begged our way in. We were told to sit quietly and listen, not to speak unless spoken to. I did just that, listened to these generals discuss the logistics of war. Until they brought up the 41st. It was a squad made up of new recruits, barely older than us. And the general suggested we put them on the front lines, use them as a distraction.”

“But they’re just kids,” Aang couldn’t help but protest.

Zuko breathed a sigh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too. So I stood up to face the general, told him it was cruel, that they would die.” His voice cracked at this. “My father silenced me. Told me it was disrespectful to speak out of turn, and to someone so high ranking. That there would be an agni kai for my insolence.”

“What’s an agni kai?” Sokka spoke softly.

“A fire duel. I thought I had a chance to beat him. He was a general but even then, I was a decent bender and had been training for years. And even if not, I’d come out with a burned wrist and singed pride.” Zuko looked away. “When I got to the arena it wasn’t the general waiting for me. It was my father. He looked so violently angry. I told him I wouldn’t fight him. I couldn’t. It was embarrassing, groveling at the feet of my own father for mercy. And it didn’t work, obviously. He still fought me and I woke up on a ship with a fucked up face and the knowledge that I was banished as well for the shame of not fighting back.” Zuko let this part out all at once then sighed. “And that’s why I was chasing you. Ozai’s stipulation was that I was allowed back if I captured the avatar. I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

The GAang was stricken. “Zuko, you didn’t deserve it. You know that right, that it’s not your fault?” Aang looked pointedly at Zuko. “And I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have treated you—”

Zuko stopped him. “Don’t apologize. Please don’t apologize, I did some really awful things to you guys and none of this excuses it and I’m sick of being some kid to be pitied.”

Katara got up and quickly walked around the fire pit before kneeling beside Zuko. “You’re not that kid anymore,” she said softly, before wrapping her arms around him tightly. Zuko sat stiffly for a moment in surprise before wrapping his good arm around her. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Toph threw her arms around them both, and Sokka and Aang leapt up to join the hug. Zuko let himself be hugged. No one mentioned the few tears that slid down his cheeks. 

That night he lay curled next to his friends, the warmth of them keeping him safe. He slept nightmare-free for the first time in a long time.

  



End file.
